All my life all I have carried is my picture of you in my head that has never faded, here I am the same age as you today, worried because I forget things, frightened to lose my picture of you.
I pondered and wondered how I could get a photo. Nobody in the family speaks to one or the other and so there is an infrastructure that has long been damaged, time and life has taken its toll and others moved on, there must be a way.
I had always loved you so much so very passionately, deeply and admired and looked up to you with a warmth only you gave me, a guardian angel who protected me in times of need, I started to think of all them I loved, and were part of you, they must have loved of you like me, I had nothing to go on but childhood memories, and started from a little search that drew to me in, to see you had many loved ones, they were mine too, robbed from life, oh how I cried for days. It took some absorbing all these emotions and finding all your sisters, and brother, and even your mam and dad, as I learnt more about how much more amazing you were with much sadness and loss in your life, there you came Nana, a family member sent me a photo. I know you felt that momentous moment,, it was wonderful, 42 years I have carried just your memory, and I saw you for real, one photo now my memory has been revived and refreshed, a bit like an old photo wearing. So happy to have this beautiful photo, its taken me away for a few days at a time, but I know you must know I have been on a journey, look I have brought your family together, your beautiful family, and you now I know you did belong.